5 Simple Ways to Speak Life to Your Children
Motherhood is one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon us during our lifetime. It is full of immeasurable, unconditional love and joy, but also the weight of responsibility that comes with the job can feel overwhelming at times. We are entrusted with the children who will become the future. We are chosen to teach and shape them into capable, responsible adults, sharing with them our wisdom and life lessons, while also filling them with positivity and encouragement. When you look at the big picture of this assignment, it can feel like a mountain too high to climb or an impossible task. How do we fill the little minds and souls with the messages of life and show them how loved and important they are to those around them and the world? The answer is one that I am still searching for, but I have found that the task is one you must take on one day at a time. It is not a simple answer to do this and do that, but a lifetime of speaking life into your children to help them hear and understand what is true about who they are and their importance to those around them. Every day, we invest in sharing the simple truths that will help them to believe all the wonderful qualities they possess and hopefully help them to grow into a more well-rounded, confident adult who knows how much their caregivers believe in them.
As I said before, there is no exact correct way to speak life to our children, but these are 5 simple ways I have found that help you integrate it into everyday life. Simple habits you can use day to day that will hopefully amount to something greater when our children leave us as adults.
5 Simple Ways to Speak Life to Your Children:
Affirmations or Daily Devotions
Using affirmations in your daily routine is such a simple way to speak life. It can be more formal, where you have children repeat affirmations to themselves while looking in the mirror, or it can be more casual, with just having them listen as you share the affirmation with them. Affirmations are simple “I am” or “You Are” statements that allow children to affirm themselves and the best parts of who they are. They are gentle reminders of what makes them special, and it is helpful for them to even hear themselves speaking these positive words over their own life. The hope is that by hearing these affirmations as a child, it might become a habit they can continue as an adult, which may lead to more self-confidence and an ability to navigate and cope with some of the tough life lessons they may face later. There are so many tools out there to help you find the correct affirmations to share with your child. You can use resources such as Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook, or you can find devotionals and affirmation cards on sites such as Amazon or Etsy. Another simple idea is to create your own based on what your child needs to hear at the time. I love to create my own because I feel that they are more personalized and I can choose them based on what I think needs to be affirmed each day, but sometimes it is nice to have a guide from a book or devotional for kids as well. I have linked a few affirmation resources below (including the reminder cards I created to go along with my children’s book series) if you are struggling to find some good options.
2. Read Books that Promote Positivity
Most of us have some daily reading time with our children already included in our daily routine, so why not add positive, life-giving words into this time as well? Many children have the same books they love to read over and over again so it can be hard to fight the battle of which book to read at nap or bedtime, but one thing we like to our in our household is to choose a fun book, and then I will include a short story or book that promotes positivity as well. It’s a bit of a win-win situation all around because they are choosing one of their favorite books and we are not having the battle of their book or mine, I am also choosing a book that I feel is meaningful, and they get more than one book at bedtime which my kids love because it means they get to stay up longer. See, everyone wins in this scenario! Shameless plug, but as I mentioned before, I write children’s books and their purpose is exactly the purpose of this blog…Speaking Life. It somewhat combines numbers 1 and 2 on my list of ways to speak life because there is an affirmation element to my books, but it also dives a little deeper and allows a bit more time for connections and communication. I have linked the books here if you are interested in checking them out( The You Are Series). A few other books we love to read are books by Nancy Tillman, such as “On the Day You Were Born,” or “The Crown on Your Head,” and then we also love “The Biggest Story Bible Storybook.” It is a more biblical way to speak life into your children, but I love the simplified versions of the Bible stories for children, as well as the prayers and colorful, vibrant illustrations it gives with each story. It is a fan favorite at our house for sure! I know there are more incredible books out there than we can name, so please share more ideas of books others could look into in the comment section below if you have a great recommendation!
3. Intentional Praise
This might be the simplest of all the tips or advice I write about, but one of the ways that has the biggest impact, in my opinion. It is simple in the fact that it can be done daily and shouldn’t be too difficult to include in your routines, but being intentional about how and when you choose to share praise can be the tricky part. When I suggest intentional praise, I mean thinking about the things you love and admire about your child and sharing them at times of day when they are most able to receive what you are saying to them. Oftentimes this seems to fall at bedtime, which we will discuss more in number 4, but can also be done before they leave for school, Mother’s Day out, or even before a meal. It also seems to work better when you have their undivided attention (no screens or distractions) and possibly even a hand on your child so they know you are speaking directly to them. I love to try to do this in the mornings, either before we leave for school, or before I send them to their classroom (I work as a teacher at the school my children attend). I usually put my hand on their shoulder or back, or get down on a knee at eye level and remind them that they are great kids and I am proud of them. I try on occasion to not just say a simple “I am proud of you,” but be intentional about recalling a specific skill or time that I want to highlight something good they did. It doesn’t happen every day like I wish it did, and that is why the intentional part of it can be tricky! Make it intentionally part of your routine and create a habit of sharing the good about your child with your child. If I do forget to do it in the morning, I usually try to do it after school, or if all else fails, I make sure to share my praise with them at bedtime.
4. Bedtime Routines
This is a great time of day to spend that special time with your child. Honestly, you can do almost all of these ideas within the bedtime routine. I like to try to spread it out over the day, but knowing that I always have bedtime to devote to speaking life over them is such a blessing. I use this time to read books, maybe say a devotion or affirmation, and just simply talk with my child and remind them of all the great things they are. We oftentimes reflect on the day and situations that occurred, and I find it is a great time to help them problem-solve and cope. There are days when I get the sense that the conversation is all they truly need that day, and they just want to be heard. To me, that is just as important as them hearing the positive words, but to believe you are there to listen when they want to share. It reminds them that you still love them no matter what, and that they can feel safe sharing in that space with you. Bedtime is a powerful time of day and can be used in so many ways to speak life. Cherish those nighttime connections because they are all too fleeting.
5. Notes and/or Acts of Service
Another simple, yet powerful way to speak life. I am a note writer to my loved ones because I feel that sometimes reading the words about what they mean to me is just as special as hearing them. They can read the note over and over again if they want, and it is something that reminds them you are still thinking about them even when you are not together. I love to write notes to my kids and put them in their lunchboxes or in their backpacks to find later. It makes my heart happy that they get a little boost or reminder mid-day, and that they feel the love and admiration from someone just through a simple act. I include writing notes as a form of “Act of Service,” but doing little acts that show others they are on your mind is another powerful tool. I sometimes will surprise my kids with their favorite snacks in their snack bags, or get an after-school treat on days when time allows. I might take them to the park on a pretty day or include them in my after-school errand and allow them to pick a snack or take-home treat. Occasionally, it is sneaking into their room before bedtime and making their room all cozy and homey as they wind down from their day, or warming a towel in the dryer before they get out of the tub. They don’t have to be extravagant or even cost any money, but simple things you do for someone because you know they love it. I also love to listen to their ideas or wishes and make a note of them so that someday, if time and budget allow, I could make one of those little dreams come true. Little acts of service go a long way, and the things our children often remember when they get older.
**Bonus Way to Speak Life- Don’t Speak At All, LISTEN!
This goes along with the bedtime routine section, but sometimes, one of our most powerful tools as a parent can be listening. We can get caught up in the teachable moments, or in making sure our children hear us, but sometimes they just need to know that we hear them. Allowing space for listening shows such a strong connection and can often make us feel more important because we don’t always want to fix the problem, but to support our kids as a person. Listening reminds them that we truly care, and in turn shows them how to be caring, empathetic, and good listeners too!
As Mothers, our responsibility is great. We have so much to accomplish in the short amount of time we have our children under our roof, and it is part of our mission to try to fill them with as much love and life as we can. These ideas are most likely things that many of you already do in some form or fashion, because so many of these things come naturally to a mother. We strive to nurture, care, and love with all our being, and speaking life into our children is simply part of our role. Keep doing the amazing job you are already doing, and remember to fill yourself with these positive life-giving ideas and words too!
Many Blessings,
Lauren
